In the Still of the Night
by ZoeWarren
Summary: Inara has a nightmare and River has some questions. Purely gen. Set post-BDM and during the timeline of 'Going On' and 'Leave of Absence'.


Inara awoke, terrified. Another nightmare where she was trapped in the corridor of Mr. Universe's compound, alone with the dead bodies of the crew, listening to the screams that told her Mal and River were never coming back. The same as every other night.

It wasn't until she pushed herself up to sitting that she realised there was someone sitting on the end of her bed. She fought the lingering paralysis and reached for the pistol she now kept on her nightstand.

"Who's there?"

"It's me."

"River?" Inara sagged back against her pillow. "What are you doing in here?"

"You had a nightmare."

Inara's breathing was slowly coming back under control, the crushing feeling in her chest subsiding.

"Was I screaming?"

"Only on the inside."

The horror of the dream still clung to her, trapped in the film of drying sweat on her skin. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to hear that."

River shrugged. "Not as bad as Zoe. Her mind screams all the time."

"Oh, honey… all of our nightmares as well as your own."

"No. None of mine. Not anymore."

Inara managed a smile. "That's good. I'm glad."

"It's good."

River fell silent, but made no move to leave. Inara held up the covers. "Here, if you're going to stay, climb in. It's cold out there." Mal was keeping life support at minimum these days, trying to conserve fuel.

River scooted up the bed and slid under the covers. Inara lay back down beside her.

Inara was vaguely aware that Mal would be appalled if he found them like this. He would absolutely jump to all the wrong conclusions. She wasn't sure herself what the right conclusions were, but she found the warmth and weight of another human being instantly soothing.

She lay awake listening to River's even breathing. She had been alone in her bed for… months, she realised. Since her last client, back before Nandi died, before everything had become complicated. She hadn't realised it would be the simple closeness of sleeping alongside another human being that she would miss most of all.

"Now what?"

Inara startled slightly as River's voice cut into her wandering thoughts.

"Now, we sleep."

River rolled over to face her. "Are we going to have sex?"

"No, honey, we're not. Is that what you wanted?"

River thought seriously about this for a moment. "No. It wouldn't be right."

Inara smiled. "No, it wouldn't."

"I remind you of your sisters."

Inara felt a thread of shock run down to the pit of her stomach. She covered it with the ease of long practice. "You remind me of some of the girls I knew while I was in training on Sihnon. My guild sisters."

"Did you sleep in the same bed with them?"

"With Nandi, sometimes. It wasn't allowed, but… I was only eight when I began my training." Inara smiled at the memory of her little self, lying there in the dark, trying to be brave and not cry. She had learned to love the dormitory eventually but those first nights… the bed had felt too big and too quiet. And Nandi, in the next bed, had felt too far away. "She was a few years older, one of the big girls, but she took pity and let me climb in with her."

"Did she have curly hair?"

"You met her, River. Don't you remember what she looked like?"

"The hair on the pillow was curly."

"No."

"You rolled onto it, once. She screamed and you woke up tangled in it."

"No. Stop. River, stop."

"It'll stop hurting if you remember."

"No." Inara rolled away from River, but River pulled her back.

"You shouldn't be afraid of your family."

Her own tears took Inara by surprise. She pulled away again, and this time River let her. When she could speak again, she addressed her comments to the flat grey wall in front of her. "I had three sisters. We all slept together on a mat on the floor. I had never been alone until I joined the Guild. And I haven't seen them since. I was only eight years old. I didn't understand."

The silence stretched out. Inara couldn't quite keep her breath from hitching on the inhale.

"Are you going to throw up?"

Inara's laugh turned into a sigh. She turned back towards River. "No. I'm going to go back to sleep."

River gave her an impish smile and deliberately pulled her hair out of reach.

"And tomorrow we're going to have a talk about mind-reading etiquette."

River stuck her tongue out at her, then curled herself up and snuggled down into the pillow. Inara settled herself as well, pulling the covers up against the chill. She closed her eyes, wondering if sleep would actually come.

"So you won't leave Serenity?"

Inara found it was a little easier to squash the old familiar panic. "Not tonight." That was all she could promise.

"Good."


End file.
